Role Models

There's been many instances in my life where I've learned the hard way what I should not say or do, or to at least be vigilant of how I say or do something. I've become increasingly aware of this as I spend more time around kids, whose naivety and lack of experience in life causes them to interpret things quite differently.  You see my bro and I never grew up around a lot of kids.  Actually I think my parents were the youngest on our block for most our lives.  Many of the neighbors who did have kids they were already in high school or college or full grown.  Besides, Shawn and I were too geeky and weird to have a lot of friends. And of course it didn't help matters that we were the fat non-athletic bowling kids, despite that I really don't think I started to show a little chubbiness until first or second grade (what happened to the good days dammit?) I think a good way to describe both of us is 13 going on 65.  How many kids sit around playing pinochle with their grandparents and great-grandparents; try to grasp the concept of Fahrenheit 451 before sixth grade; write their first My Little Pony book during summer break with hopes yet of being published; draw covers of their future hit albums; dedicate a devoted 30-60 minutes to their violin or cello a day and yes even during the summer; listen to your parents' Yes, Deep Purple, Chicago, Three Dog Night, Kansas, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Boston, Boy George (yeah my mom was a fan, yeah crazy, and she also had a brief love affair with Lionel Ritchie ) records and try to analyze their true meaning and form; tune into Wide World of Sports/ESPN at 7 on a Sunday morning and memorize every clip of historic football footage to the point you believed you were actually at Super Bowl IX and can recall every Steelers play even though you were only 1 at the time; play dress up and go sneak into the playroom when no one is paying attention so you can lip sync to mom's records or sing very softly hoping no one would hear (Yeah and I'm still lookin' for an agent bitches!); confess that you religiously watched Dr. Who and admitted your favorite movies were War of the Worlds and Fantastic Voyage while your friends were watching Punky Brewster and Rainbow Bright; stop whatever you were doing or playing at exactly 1 p.m. so you could go have tea with mom and watch Marlena get locked in a cave on some deserted island on Days of Our Lives?...I mean the list could go on and on.  Shawn and I were a far cry from the typical kid who played in the mud, climbed trees (I didn't climb my first until I was 30 OMG I can't believe I just admitted that), slide down slides or went on rides because OMG you could get stuck or even DIE on this thing!!!!  Kiddie rides kill you know.  Grandma: "I just read that a Guatemalan kid was on a carousel when he fell and got run over by a wagon!  You shouldn't go on those things!"  So to make a long, dragged out story short, Shawn and I were very good at behaving like adults around adults, but pretty much lost the aspect of what it was like to be a "kid," especially around other kids.  In adulthood that has translated to an awkwardness felt when we are around the little  ones.  With that said and with this very thorough and accurate background, I don't realize that while around my friends or family's little whipper snappers that I'm being some kind of influence in the way I act or things I say.  Quite frankly, I'm always afraid kids hate me and don't want to be around me, let alone pay attention to what I'm saying or doing.  Am I a positive role model?  With the f-bomb being one of my favorite words, my road rage, my you can kiss my ass and lick it attitude, my constant personal degradation and with my obnoxious smart-assness being an in-born part of my nature, I would have to honestly say, "NOT!!!!"  So is it my fault when kids are around me and they start to pick up some, we'll call them, peculiar traits?  Or if I let them sneak a treat or go on the computer when they're not suppose to — "Hey, lil' dude, just don't tell your mother."  Hence my additive: "What happens at Nikki's house, stays at Nikki's house.  Yeah, like Kiddie Vegas.  Let's go to a specific example like my friend Grace's son, Nat.  He's 8.  When he's around I try to be vigilant of the potty mouth and try to encourage him on endeavors like hitting golf balls or wanting to go water my plants or search for rocks in my backyard when he comes over for visits with his mom and Curt.  At Christmas time I made sure he knew I was deemed one of Santa's elves due to my long history of well behavior as a child (you know like a promotion) and knew on a personal one-on-one basis whether he was behaving on the bus and if he was doing well on his school work.  Nikki Radar. A success.   He fell for it and sucked it right in.  But recently we have discovered that Nat, being the sponge that he is, has sucked up some other Nikki traits.  Yes, let that be a lesson. Self: kids are like sponges and they tend to absorb EVERYTHING.  No selective sopping here.  Well, last night we're watching my husband's and Curt's softball game and Nat goes up to his mom, points at his eyes, then points to his mom and says, "I'm watching you mom!"  I start to laugh but abruptly stop myself.  Wait.  That's the Bobby DeNiro.  I'm famous for that.  That's my thing.  Could he have watched me do it sometime?  Did it around him and picked it up from me?  NAAAAAAAAAAAH.  You're just imagining things.  Nat goes off to play for a little while as Grace and I continue to watch the game.  About 10-15 minutes later Nat returns.  He starts play fighting with his mom.  He pounds his chest, "Bring it mom! Bring it!  BRING IT!"  I'm stunned.  I cannot move.  Grace and I had the same thought at the exact same time.  I began to slouch down in my chair and pretend I didn't hear when I feel Grace's eyes roll up and her head turn slowly in my direction.  Grace to Nat: "You never used to say this stuff before.  Gee, I wonder where you're getting all this from?!" (Looks at me) Me: "Um, actually I usually say that.  That's kind of my line," I said, with a hint of denial that states, 'Hey someone else out there in the universe could be saying the same thing and that's where he got it from.'  Grace: "I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!   He keeps doing stuff and I keep wondering where he's getting it from and I realize IT'S YOU!!!!!"  A moment of awkward oops.   This has happened before on my recollection.  In Florida while watching Eric's niece and nephew back in December, I had to scold Aedan for biting his sister.  I release my weapon from my holster and fire: yes, the "POINTY FINGER."  I never ever had a moment of self realization as this.  I point at him, not realizing I'm doing what I'm doing and demand, "You don't bite your sister.  Why would you do something to someone you wouldn't want done to yourself?!!!!!!"  The next morning, Aedan goes to his mother, Eric's sister, and demands to go to the pool.  "Mommy I want to go to the pool right now!," as he points his tiny pointer finger in his mother's face.  Dawn and Mom: "Hey where did you get that from?  You've never pointed at me before!"  Another moment of opps.  I didn't realize that was  a "Nikki thing" until the next scolding came along and the pointer was fired.  It took weeks of careful study and exploration to pin the pointer finger thingy on my grandmother, so at least I had someone to blame on where I got that from.  I noticed when she was scolding me about not coming to visit often enough.  So you see my friends, I guess you can say we are all role models, whether we realize it or not.  Somewhere lurking is some lil punk who is watching everything we do and listening to everything we say and taking it all in.  So be careful out there.   Be mindful that you in some minor, insignificant way, are actually helping to shape the future.  So watch how you represent yourself.  You could be bringing up a next generation of cussing, finger flipping, obnoxious little a-holes, JUST LIKE ME! :)