Go Suck It!

TGIF everybody!  Yeah, Thank God It's Friday.  I guess that statement doesn't quite work for you atheists out there.   I suppose those of you who refuse to identify with any kind of deity there's Thank Goodness It's Friday, as lame as that may sound.  So I guess for you Muslims out there its TAIF and TBIF for the Buddhists!  For the Fundamentalists there's TJIF give me an AMEN and Alleluia all you sinners out there!!  There, that should almost cover it.  Anyway, I got thinking this morning when my husband uttered that phrase to me on my way toward the bathroom to go empty my bladder before my daily travels to work.  This being my M-F week, it was a relief to know that this day would be the day to end all days of work for the week.  But it also made me think how society has forced us to cheat the other days of the week.  Say you were to personify days, I'm sure I'd be Monday.  And think of how jaded Monday must feel.   No one ever says, "Thank God It's Monday!"  No, in actuality it's the one day of the week that is universally dreaded by all of humankind because it's the beginning of the "work week." No one says, "Thank God it's Thursday because it's the day before Friday and Friday is the day before Saturday!"  I suppose that would be a tad impractical wouldn't it?  So automatically I'm seeing a trend here.  Aren't you?  Seems like our human philosophy revolves around the ideals that WORK SUCKS!  There's the evidence: We don't like it when a new work week has to begin, which is why Monday gets such a bad wrap.  But we worship Fridays like it's that one last cling to hope for our future existence.  Perhaps some of us will even bow down and pay homage to Friday at the thrown early Saturday, depending on how intense our worship for Friday becomes tonight.  FRIDAY.  I suppose then Friday isn't suppose to suck?  Friday is great.  Everyone wants to be friends and go hang out with FRIDAY!  Mothers everywhere want their daughters to date and marry Friday.  Bet Friday just got voted prom king, got promoted to CEO, was photographed for the cover of Playboy and was voted no. 1 genius of the universe for inventing the j-Pad, cuz Apple had no place else to go.  Hell, Friday would even have my vote for Sexiest Man Alive on the cover of People magazine.  Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...invisible.  You see us humans are so inclined to concentrate on the beginning and the end — the extreme hate for one and congenial respect of the other — that we far forget all the things in between.  We say, "Wow, time really flies!"  or "Is it Friday already?" or "Where did the week go?"  I'll tell you.  We wanted leper Monday to leave and class president Friday to come too quickly.  We wished the time away.  And why...AGAIN...Because work SUCKS!  So all of you out there who plan on celebrating the close of another SUCKY Work week I want you go out and raise your glasses, then take your straws and suck down that Gin and Tonic, Suck down that Vodka and cranberry...but SUCK IT to the other days. Suck it to Tuesday!  Suck it to Wednesday!  Suck it to Thursday!  There's no reason why WORK should make us HATE all the rest of the Days of Our Lives...So today, I speak on behalf of all the fat girls, the total geeks, the guys with man tits (you know who you are!) — all those deemed "not good enough" for society — all those who were poked fun of or laughed at when we asked Friday out, or just never had the balls to do so — Toast to Monday through Thursday!  We owe it to ourselves.  We owe it to society. And most of all...WE OWE IT TO BARS AND PUBS EVERYWHERE.  Go be happy and HATE those who try to prevent you from doing so!